Dreams, Illusions, Bubbles, Shadows

13 September 2005

"Why Are You Single?" 5 Feisty (and Funny) Comebacks


"Why aren't you married?" After hearing that question, you will pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word), and give one of the following:

1. In the beginning, there were no stairmasters or low-fat-high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum.
Meaning? The pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances (and the fine line of SnackWell products) we can all hope to live to age 80. Easy.
Meaning? Even if we get married at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. And divorced? What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Hitler got married. Frankenstein got married. Linda Tripp got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:

Catwoman: single.
Buddha: single.
Aphrodite: single.
The Lone Ranger. Actually, all superheroes are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right, etc.

4. Then there's The Ultimate Superhero -- God. Also single. And God is even a single-parent household.

5. It's easy to become married. 2.3 million people do it a year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging? Like an astrophysicist.


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