fragments of random talk
J: What're you up to tomorrow?
Me: Fixture.
J: You know in medical terms, fixtures are the things we use to connect your broken joints.
Me: In accounting, fixtures are furniture, screws, anything dead.
J: Hmm...my fixtures are metal pieces.
Me: Non-living too. That's the whole idea. Geddit?
Y: What would you want a guy to notice about you at first glance?
Me: I've never put a serious thought to that. But I've set my eyes on my future spouse.
Y: Oh really? And who's that?
Me: An oil sheikh in Middle East.
Y: (rolls eyes) You're probably the only person to think of that.
Me: I know. Doesn't that just give me an upperhand in the game?
Y: You may just be right.
Me: 1. Control the resources and you control wealth and power. What other resource can beat oil? 2. I'd be a scarce commodity in that part of the world. Considering free market mechanisms, my market value will skyrocket. Besides, I've no qualms about the dressing custom. I can hide my unsightly ding-dang from public view in the modest Arabian dress.
Y: You've obviously put some serious thought on this.
Me: (smiles blithely)
S: Would you like to look at our weight management programme? We're providing free BMI tests and consultation.
Me: Actually I'm not interested.
S: But you know, our programme can enhance your body image.
Me: I'm really sorry but I gotta go.
S: Here's my namecard. Please give me a call if you're interested.
Me: (looks at the card) Should I be motivated to change my image, the last person I'd look for is you. (punctuated with a meaningful, murderous glance)
I never get to see the look on the woman's face. But I figure my message hit home.
posted by Michelle at
2:51 AM
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